The logics of sexuality

People tend to think about sexuality in the same way they think about accounting. All people really give you is the historical cost, if one has slept with men, women, both, or perhaps even all genders. This is wrong on so many levels.

What does historical cost really tell you about the company’s future? Not much. Nothing in fact. I’m not interested in how much money you have spent, I’m interested in your best guess of the future. Should I make an investment or not? Who or how many you have slept with will not give any clues to if you are good in bed or not. Are you gay, bisexual, something-sexual? I couldn’t care less. If we are going to have sex, I would just like it if you were sexual. That we are compatible. The best guess of the future. Not who you tapped two years ago.

We should just stop defining people based on if they have slept with men, women, who and what ever. It will never tell you anything about their sexuality. We will always get it wrong, because it’s not forward-looking. We can’t for sure know who they will meet, love and have sex with in the future. Your sexual history will never tell us anything about your sexual future.

128.

It’s been over 36 months now since my mother’s funeral, a few weeks longer since she passed away, and almost as many months since I stood there and gently lowered her urn into the flower bed memorial where she rests. It’s been almost as long since one of my sisters started what became a family dividing fight. So for the last three years it’s been the lawyer this, the attorney that, the new counselor this, and another barrister that. It’s been driving us all insane, but I guess it’s just her way of saying she wasn’t pleased with the will.

So many times I’ve thought: the past has passed, let it go. But it’s been impossible. It wasn’t behind me, us, my family. It was still very much going on. And in the end it just became, why even bother trying? I stopped thinking about it.

After 36 months it must have come to an end, or the state steps in and solves it for you (that’s how it works here in Sweden, folks, inheritance disputes can’t go on forever). And a few days ago I was informed that she finally had accepted our mother’s final will. No objections, nothing. The past is in the past, I can let it go, finally.

126.

Life. Apparently this year is about travel. I’ve been to India for weeks, travelled to Stockholm twice, to London (just to see the recording of an episode of QI) and spent some weeks on a Greek island. Life is beautiful. So is my Instagram by the way.

Summer. Enjoying G&Ts with the neighbors buck naked. There is so much life to a Scandinavian summer. The colors, even if the lawns already are brown from the heat. I’m in love with our garden.

I should start looking for a new job, but I keep all options open, and have applied to continue a Master in Economics. But if something falls from the sky, I’ll take it. And I should finish some short stories, and longer stories.