95.

The other day, I woke up so horny, and had a huge erection, silly huge. 

Then I got online, and a handsome stranger seemed nice, but when I stated that I needed a good pounding this morning he said “such a waste of huge cock”. 

Men! Why do they keep on stating such stupid things? Totally put me in a bad mood. 

94.

All my life I’ve struggled with my self image. It’s not manly to be thin like I am (mostly was perhaps), slender, femme. It’s not manly at all. You need to be muscular, strong built, have good hair (LOL like how many men are bald?). You need to be a lot of things just to be accepted by other men as a male. 

Even small words hurt. Assumed nice remarks like “you’re so thin, you’re a size S right, you are so YOU, not masc or femme” OMG the words that penetrate me and has hurt me so deep. 

So I will never have the perfect male body that we see in media, on television shows, in advertising or walking down the catwalk. 

I don’t want my life to be a constant struggle with the reflection in my mirror. I don’t  want that, but it’s so hard. People go all “man up” and I don’t even know how the fuck to do that?! 

All I know is I can’t let the mirror image win.